Wives of the sea

Here she will be able to see her husband, a fisherman, each time he returns from long trips away at sea.

“I accept to stay in these poor conditions, away from my hometown, as long as my husband will be mine every time he’s off the boat,” she said.

Many women from Ben Tre Province share the same concern as Huong; that their fishermen husbands will need their care and attention after many tiresome and boring days at sea.

They also worry that their husbands will be lured by other women on land, including sex workers.

As a result, the women have decided to stay in rented rooms of 15-20 square meters in Song Doc Town around the seaport area, ready to welcome their men when they return.

And to wait means to spend more time in solitude than with their life partners.

Han, for example, has been staying alone in her room for the last two months.

She burns incense sticks each night while praying for her husband, who is still far away in international waters.

When gas prices increased late last year, the number of times her husband has returned to the seaport has become less and less.

He used to return twice a month, but now it’s just once every couple of months.

As Huong’s husband hasn’t returned yet, Han has asked Huong to stay and talk with her for the night to help ease the loneliness.

Last month, the boats only caught a few fish and the men were forced to stay at sea to save money.

To alleviate their isolation and lessen the financial burden of renting single rooms, several of the women decided to share rooms in groups of three to four.

They support each other and keep reminding themselves not to fall for other men while their husbands are far away.

And they’re not just waiting idly by.

They work everyday, vending, selling lottery tickets or rummaging for scraps to sell.

“We must work to pay the rent, the daily meals and anything we can to share the expenditure with our husbands,” said Le Thi Thanh Hong, who works boiling shrimp and drying fish from the fishing boats.

“They will never see us live in dirty and poor conditions and we keep ourselves from debauched lives so that they are not let down,” she said.

Some wives even take on the role of their husbands’ financial consultant.

“The men are not so good at meticulous work such as estimating profit or loss,” said Hong.

Hong says she was the one who advised her husband to return to the port less often since energy prices have surged, even though it means she’ll be alone more often.

Kim Ha, another wife, has resided in the seaport area for eight years since her husband Hoang Phuong started his fishing career.

Every time Phuong returns from the sea, they talk for a whole night about the business and their children.

“Having my wife by my side, I feel more confident in work,” Phuong said.

He says many women like his wife are more concerned about the safety and success of the boats than about whether their husbands have other women they visit.

But he himself loves his wife dearly, he says, and appreciates the care and attention she gives him.

“When life is difficult, the husband and wife attachment has to be stronger,” Phuong said.

Dao Van Dang, a police officer in Song Doc Town, says the wives live very thriftily.

“They work hard and love their husbands,” he adds.

In fact, the bond between husband and wife has helped many couples find a better life; often they are eventually able to afford their own boat or house.

Dao Van Hai has just built a large house in Song Doc Town after 27 years working on fishing boats in Song Doc Seaport.

He says his wife plays a big role in important decisions.

“The wives are careful and patient in everything,” he said.

Now the owner of three fishing boats, Hai says the most precious thing to him is having a happy family.

Source: Tuoi Tre